Six Ways To Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One
Losing a loved one is the hardest thing that anybody ever has to experience. Sadly, it is a natural part of life. Worse still, the coronavirus pandemic is taking lives prematurely. It also causes difficulties for families as they aim to cope.
Nothing will ever replace your loved one, but they wouldn’t want you to suffer. Learning to cope with the loss in the most comforting fashion is essential. Here are six steps that will hopefully make the grieving process just a little less painful.
#1. Remember to embrace surviving loved ones
Whether you lost your loved one to the virus or not, the pandemic will make it harder to grieve as a family. Social distancing rules must still be respected. Nonetheless, facing this heartbreaking moment alone is the last thing anyone needs. Creating a supportive network is vital for everyone. Giving love and comfort is as vital as receiving it.
Despite the issues caused by regulations and potential geographic distances, modern tech can help. A phone call, video chat, or message to check up on loved ones can make a world of difference. If you have lost a parent or grandparent who is survived by their spouse, it’s a chance to check that they have food and drink.
Arranging funeral details should be a group effort. Even if you can’t meet in person until the day, it is possible to split up the responsibilities. The key is to ensure that those that want to be involved have an opportunity. Meanwhile, if a member of the family cannot attend the funeral service due to the pandemic, you should go the extra mile to comfort them about this.
#2. Organize the best possible send-off
There’s no escaping the fact that funerals will continue to look different in 2021. Depending on your geographic location, you may find that there are strict capacity limits. While it’s not quite the same, extended family members can join the service via video links and sermons. With the right preparations and communication before the day, people will feel involved.
Ultimately, though, your main priority is to give the dearly departed the type of send-off they deserve. Whether taking the DIY approach or working with funeral organizers, the choice between burial and cremation is vital. Meanwhile, a bronze grave marker and other commemorative items ensure that their memory lives on. Flowers will beautify the site too.
As for the service itself, choosing the right person to officiate the service will make a big difference. There are various options depending on your religion and other unique factors. Taking time to write eulogies can be great for your mind too. Crucially, planning what you want to say ensures that the life of your loved one is celebrated in the best possible way.
#3. Stay occupied
It sounds cold, but life must go on. You will never forget your loved one. The memories you made and the lessons they taught have helped sculpt you into the person you are today. More than that, your loved one would want to see you achieve your aspirations and lead a happy life. So, while tears and sadness are inevitable, it’s important to keep your life on track.
Whether it’s setting career goals or keeping fit, it’s OK to enjoy positive moments at this time. In fact, they are crucial to balancing the sadness and will actually allow you to grieve in a healthier way. There’s no need to punish yourself if some days are too much for you to keep to your plans. Nonetheless, you cannot allow yourself to fall into a black hole.
The harsh reality is that the risks of this are greater than ever, especially for those stuck at home. Even when enjoying recreational activities around the home, try to find ideas that keep your mind engaged and occupied. Watching an old TV show will allow your mind to drift off whereas something creative can be far more therapeutic.
#4. Express your feelings
Despite the benefits of keeping occupied, you shouldn’t shut off your feelings. This issue is currently more common than ever due to the circumstances. Unfortunately, it will lead a lot of mourners into depression, anxiety, and negative frames of mind. Therefore, finding ways to vocalize your thoughts rather than keeping them locked inside is vital for the process.
If you are fortunate enough to share your home with family or friends, that’s great. Colleagues are another potential soundboard for you to vent frustrations, fears, and other issues. Sometimes, simply writing your problems down in a journal or diary can work wonders. One way or another, expressing issues lifts a weight from your shoulders.
This is another aspect where modern tech can play a role too. Joining forums, message boards, or online groups for grieving people can deliver comfort. The knowledge that others are going through the same doesn’t make you feel better, but it means you are not alone. This can be very useful when usual connections are unavailable due to quarantining.
#5. Pay homage to the dearly departed
One of the best ways to cope with loss is to keep remembering that their memory will live with you. After celebrating their life and remembering them at the cemetery (or equivalent), you should extend this to parts of your daily life. Simple ideas and items can become a source of immense comfort at the moments where they are most needed.
There are many ways to brighten up the home. Turning old photos into canvases can brighten up the walls. Alternatively, you could put an item they passed down to you on display or frame the letter they once wrote. Anything personal to the connection you shared will provide significant assistance in your home life.
Away from the property, you could look to jewelry that contains their ashes or holds a photo. Meanwhile saved audio messages can be stored on your smartphone to provide a reminder of their voice and love when you need to feel their warmth. Finally, setting up a charity in their name or raising funds for an issue close to their heart helps the memory live on.
#6. Know that this is totally normal
Grieving is never easy, especially in this situation. However, it’s something everyone has to encounter at some stage. Even in moments where you are at a low point, everything you’re feeling is normal. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you’ll stop punishing yourself. Crucially, it will allow you to understand your state of mind at any given time.
There are seven defined stages of grieving. They are denial, guilt, anger, depression, upward turning, reconstruction, and acceptance. Each person will experience all stages in their unique ways. Even when you reach the final stage, it doesn’t mean the process is over. There will be times where something triggers you to hit a low point. But you can get through it.
An increased understanding of the process you’re encountering will have a positive impact, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. For the sake of yourself, remaining loved ones, and the wishes of your loved one, coping is the only answer. Humans are naturally resilient. Try to focus on how they enriched your life, and their memory will continue to do so.
